If Only He Knew
by FullWhicanAlchemist
Summary: BBxRae fic with a little bit of RaeXRob. I'm not good on summaries so I put a paragraph on the first page of chapter one. I'm not sure where in the story its gonna be, But it'll be in there. Please RxR. This is my first fic. Told by Ravens point of view.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer for "if only he knew": I do not own the Teen titans, Hot topic, the creators of the peavy raptor, FMA, the high healed 6 inch boots, the owners of marshals, any of the music put into this fic, most of the poetry (I will point out the stuff I own), the titans tower, the pizza parlor (the book store is different, because its not in the series any where.), happy bunny, invader zim, The saying "victory is mine", or my mind to begin with. Any of the things I use in this fic, I give full credit to the owners, and makers of the things I use.

Preview from chapter to come: Standing in the rain, letting the rain fall onto my face, I thought to myself, 'if yesterday didn't come, what would today be? If I hadn't done what i had done, would i be the same person i am now?' as I thought, i heard a voice, calling me out of my own little world. It began faint, then it grew louder. I knew who it was, and why he was calling me. I wanted to come out of my deep thought, but it just sucked me in. As he got closer, my thoughts sucked me in deeper and deeper. As I felt his hand on my shoulder, i snapped out of the trance, and fell to my knees, as the rain poured down on the two of us...

Chapter one

It was normal Sunday morning. Beast boy and Cyborg playing video games, Starfire cooking something, Robin tracing down Slade, and me, Raven, Reading my books and meditating. It was about noon, when i noticed, by this time, Starfire usually knocks on my door at least 4 times to ask me to go to the mall, and beast boy asks me to be on his team for "stank ball". Something's not right.

As i walked into the living room, nothing was different. Everything was normal. So, i poured myself some tea, but when i sipped it, the room got quiet all of a sudden. I looked around to see that Cyborg, Starfire, and Robin had taken off. I asked beast Boy, "where'd everyone go? Did Robin find slade?" He just sat on the couch and smiled at me with the same look he used to give terra, "i guess they all had plans, well, seeing what day it is." With one look into his eyes, I knew what was going on. It was valentines day! The were trying to sent me up with him! Damn those three. Well, i tried to act cool, "well, I guess i should go and see if star wants to go to the mall, or something." "Star and robin when to the movies." "I'll see if-" "Cyborg went to visit Bumble bee."

Damn, i ran out of ideas, and he knew it. Right before he had the time to say anything, I yelled out, "will you look at the time, i was supposed it pick up a book an hour ago. Well, gotta go!" I teleported out as soon as i could. I went to the book store, to look for something new. 'why not, i said i was going to the book store.' i thought to myself. When i got to the counter to pay for my books, i spotted an entry box labeled, THE RAPTOR COULD BE YOURS. I asked the man behind the counter what it was for. "its a drawing for a peavy raptor." I had no idea what he was talking about. he noticed the look on my face. "its an electric guitar. the store is having a costumer appreciation day next weekend and were raffling off some things. The guitar, along with a marshals hip amp, and a $500 shopping spree at hot topic, are the top prizes awarded." so i said to myself, 'what the hell. why not enter. i know damn well i won't win, but it doesn't hurt anything to enter.' He gave me a ticket. I filled it out and slipped it into the box.

I played for my book, and walked around town, because i knew what would happen if i went home. I stopped at hot topic to see what was new (all my friends and me love hot topic. its an awesome place. and they now have anime stuff, even teen titans stuff. even though its not an anime. this next part reflects me, sort of.). I drooled over the FMA stuff with Ed's picture on it(the me part :) ), and i checked out a nice pair of 6 inch healed boots. they were nice, but i didn't have the money for them.

I walked down the street, and stopped at the pizza place to get something to eat, but on my way in, i heard a familiar voice yell out, "how could i be so stupid!" It was beast boy. I didn't know he would be there, but i got a little worried about him. I flew onto the roof to try and ease drop on him. he started to yell at him self, "how could you think she liked you! she would never like someone like you!" he buried his head into his hands. "she'd never like me. I'm not her type. if i died myself pale white, died my hair black, learned witchcraft, painted my nails black, and wore eye-liner, she might think about likening me." I was almost positive, he was talking about me. I thought to myself, 'if only he knew...' before i left, i flew over him, making sure he didn't notice me, and dropped a note from above him, reading: There's still hope... i teleported back to the tower as the note hit his table. I didn't want him to see me.


	2. Chapter 2

chapter two

Later that day, back at the tower, I was sitting in my room meditating, when I heard a knock on my door. It never fails. The always bother me when I'm meditating. I figured it was Starfire wanting to do my hair again. Note: never let Star do my hair agian. But to my surprise, it was Robin. "Hey," I said, "Whats going on?" "Its Beast Boy. He isn't home, and he isn't answering his comuntcator. I'm worried about him. Me, Cyborg, and Starfire are going to search town. You think you could stay here and call us if he gets here?" Inside, I knew something was wrong, but I didn't show it. "Sure, I can do that."

After Robin and the others took off, I went down to Beast Boy's room to see if I could find a clue to why he was missing. As I walked in, I was disgusted by the site of the mounds of dirty cloths. I looked in the draws of his desk, and in the top draw, I found a black velvet box. I know I shouldn't have, but I opened it. Inside I found a bracelet, with a charm on it. The charm was the letter "R". Underneath it, I found a note. It read, "Dear Raven, Happy valentines day! I've wanted to tell you something, but haven't worked up the courage to. So, I'm just gonna come out and say it." By this point in the note, it looked like his hand was shaking as he wrote it. "I like you. I've liked you since the day I met you. Every time I see you, my muscles tense, I start to sweat, and I can't breath. I didn't show it, from the fear of rejection. I hope you feel the same about me. If you don't, then I'll leave you alone. So, I give you this bracelet to show my affection for you. Love always, Beast Boy." I couldn't believe what I was reading. Beast Boy really felt that way about me? Then I thought, 'You need to tell him. He deserves to know.'

As I put back the note, closed the box, put it back, and shut the draw, I heard the door open downstairs. Maybe it was Beast Boy? I rushed down stairs to see it was the other 3. "Did you find him?" Robin let out a large sigh, "No, but we found this." he held out beast boys communicator. It was covered in ash. I knew where he went. "Where did you find it?" "About a half mile outside the city, near an old amusement park." I was positive I knew. Beast Boy told me what happened with him and terra after she was turned to stone. He didn't tell the others. "I'm going to search the city. You guys stay here and call me if he shows up."

I teleported out as fast as I could. I knew where he went. I went to the old amusement park they found the communicator. I looked around. It hadn't been touched in years. I walked around, looking for the hall of mirrors. I found it. As I walked in, I could here a small whimper. As I followed the whimper, it grew louder. Finally, I could see Beast Boy. He was sitting in the middle of the floor, surrounded by broken mirrors. His knees were up to his chest, his arms resting on top of them, with his head buried into his arms. "Beast Boy," I said in a soft yet powerful voice. He looked at me as tears streamed from his eyes.

I walked up to him, kneeled down next to him, and put my hand on his shoulder, trying to comfort him. He looked at the ground in front of him. "It's not fair," he said at a whisper. "Why must the ones I love leave me? Why does everything have to go wrong at the best points in life?" He looked at me, and threw his arms around me. A mirror cracked. For some reason, I wrapped my arms around him, and started to rub his back. "It's going to be ok," I whispered into his ear. "Everything's going to be just fine." At that moment I knew, He needed to know. He needed to know that I burned for him with the hot intensity of one thousand suns. That I couldn't bear to see him hurt. That I couldn't live without him, and that I loved him. But I couldn't tell him. Something inside me was telling me that if I did, something wrong would happen, and that he would be hurt. So, I didn't, I acted like nothing was going on between us, and it was just a friendly hug. And with that final though. I whispered in his ear, "Let's go home."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The next Saturday, I headed down to the book store for the costumer appreciation thing. The were swarms of people there. I walked into the store and up to the counter. "Has the drawing been done for the guitar yet?" I guess I startled the guy, because he jumped. "Raven. I just tried calling you. The guitar is yours." I stopped breathing. I couldn't believe it. Something good had actually happened in my life. Inside, I was jumping for joy, dancing around like a giddy school girl. And, of course, I didn't show it. "Really? Cool." "Come around back, and I'll give it to you. People around here would kill for one of these." So, I went around back, and got the guitar. "The amp will be in a few days and for the shopping spree, just go to hot topic, and tell them your name. They'll let you get $500 worth of merchandise." I was so excited, some of the windows in the nearby store began to shatter.

As soon as he shut the back door, I teleported home, to my room. I didn't want anyone to know I had it. If they knew, they wouldn't stop knocking on my door to use it. I carefully stored it in my closet. As much as I acted like I didn't want it, I always wanted to play guitar. After I put it in my closet and locked it, just incase, I teleported to hot topic, to get some new cloths. I spent 5 hours getting things. I got the 6 inch boots I saw last week, along with a nice dress, that no one would EVER find out I had, some happy bunny clothes, an FMA shirt(drewls over ED), A "victory is mine" shirt, a gir doom song shirt, and 5 pairs of big baggy pants. 

Before I went home, I decided to go back to book store to look at a new book that just came out. I walked in and went to the horror section. As I looked, I heard a young boy yelling at the clerk, "What do you mean I didn't get the guitar! I had over 500 entries!" I flew to the top of the book shelf to see who it was. It was Beast Boy. Was he stalking me, or something? "Well, if I didn't get it, who did?" The clerk told him, "I can't tell you her name, but she's a young grey girl with purple hair." Beast boy got a big grin on his face. 'Damn you! He knows it's me!' I dropped the book I was holding and teleported home, making sure to lock my door.

I sat on my bed, trying to meditate. Hoping he wouldn't come home. But yet again, it didn't fail. He came straight home. When he knocked on my door, I acted like no one was here. He knew other wise. He heard a vase shatter in my room. "Come on, Raven. I know your there." He got too annoying. I had to let him in. No sooner did I open the door, he came barreling in. I pointed toward the closet, walked over, unlocked it, and took the guitar out. He drewled over it. "Can I touch it?" "Wipe the drewl off your shirt, and sure, but if you brake it, YOUR DEAD!"

He grabbed it gently, put the strap over his head, and started to play some hard core, heavy metal song. My jaw dropped. "Where the hell did you learn to play guitar?" He chuckled a bit. "I taught myself when I was little. It took a while, but I ended up being in a band with my friends (Greg cipes, the voice of beast boy, is a musician. Check out his site and listen. He's really good. I crossed my arms, trying to be stubborn, "well, your not that good." "Well, let's see what you can play, miss know-it-all." I looked at the ground, "I don't know how to play." "Hey, maybe I could teach you." 

I looked at him with an "are you kidding me" look, "You're not serious, are you?" "Why not, you want to learn, and I want to play. Its perfect and I won't charge you anything, seeing I work with you." I knew that's not what he meant. I read his mind, to see what his perspective was about the whole situation, 'this would be a perfect time to get her to like you, dude. Girls are totally into guys that play guitars. I could get closer to her, and maybe even tell her...' My concentration was caught off by his voice, "So, What do you say?" I let out a sigh, "I guess so, but if the others find out about this, I'll kill you." "Ok, cool. How about every day, around 10p.m. we meet on the roof, so the others don't notice." I thought it was a romantic place, and I knew that's what he was thinking too. "Sure. But if it's raining, we meet in the basement." "Ok then. See you tonight." He gave me the guitar, and left my room. I locked the door behind him. I flopped on my bed, trying not to scream from joy. I wanted to spend time with him. Just me and him. Then, all of a sudden, I felt the erg to find something nice to ware to impress him. It was like, my emotions went hay-wire. I didn't know why. I tried meditating, but it was no use. All I could think about was him.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

After dinner, I went to my room to try and calm down. At supper, I was so excited, one of the pizzas blew up all over Cyborg. I put on some music, and sat on my bed, singing the words softly.

When you walk away,  
You don't hear me say,  
Please, Oh baby,   
Simple and clean,  
Is the way that you're making,  
Me feel tonight,  
Its hard to let it go...

Just then, I heard a loud thump outside my room. I shut off the music and went to my door. I opened it to see Beast Boy on the floor. "What was that noise?" I asked him. "Um, what noise?" he said in a squeakish voice. I rolled my eyes, and went back into my room. I turned on the radio, to see what was on.

But I wondered what that thump was. I walked up to my door, and opened it. Beast Boy fell into my room. He had been listening to me sing! "Why you no good-" "You know, your a real good singer. After I teach you guitar-" I covered his mouth, and shut the door behind him. "I told you, the others can't find out. So keep it quiet." He nodded, and mumbled. I removed my hand from his mouth. "But like I was saying. After I teach you guitar, maybe...we could...um...you know...maybe...start a band?" "You're not really serious. Me? In a band? Don't make me laugh." He walked toward the door, "Don't waste good talent. You might lose it," he said, and then left.

Around 9:30, I teleported to the roof, with the guitar. I wanted to meditate on the roof before he came. As I appeared on the roof, he was already there. It surprised me. He was never early, or on time for that matter, for anything. He was staring at the moon, talking to himself. I could hear what he was saying, "This is your chance to tell her. You can do it. It's as easy as-" he turned around, and saw me.

"Aahh! How long have you been there?" "I just got here. I was going to meditate." "Oh. Well, got the guitar?" I held it out to him. "Ok. Now put it on." I put the strap over my head, and adjusted my hair (I hate it when my hair gets stuck under the strap). "Ok, now I have something for you." I got nervous. Was it the bracelet I found in his desk? He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a small baggy. He pulled out a red and black swirl guitar pick. "Here," he handed it to me, "Your gonna need this." I took it, and hit the last string with it. It was a low, powerful note. "That was an E. It's the lowest note you can play when the guitar is tuned. You can play some songs with just that string, alone with one or two others, or just by it's self. Or you could make a song out of cords. A cord is a range of different notes to make one loud, powerful note..."

As he rambled on, I thought to myself 'I never knew Beast Boy was this smart. I thought T.V. had fried whatever he had for a brain. He's not really that bad to be around when he's not trying to make me laugh.' I "came back to earth" when he grabbed my hand. "Here," he said, trying to place my fingers on the neck of the guitar. "Let me show you an A cord. It's basically the easiest cord. Now, hit every string, but the last one." I stroked the guitar, and it was a sour note. "Try pushing down a little harder. Push down on each individual string."

I took his advice, there's a first time for everything, and pushed down harder. I stroked it again. It was a high, soft, clear note. I let go, and my fingers started to sting, "Ouch." "That'll happen to you for the first few months. Tomorrow, they'll hurt worse. And soon enough, they'll caulis, but you'll get you'd to it. Heh. That's why I started wearing gloves." He looked at his watch. "11:00 already? Well, that wasn't so bad for a first lesson, was it?" "Well, it wasn't that bad. Other than my fucking fingers are killing me." "Yeah, but like I said, you'll get used to it."

He stretched and yawned. "Well, night." He walked toward the door. I sat down on the roof. "Aren't you coming?" "No, I'm gonna meditate first." He shrugged, and stopped at the door. "Oh, and Raven, thanks." "For what?" "Being there for me." He smiled and walked inside. I tried to meditate, but yet again, all I could think about, was him.

I sat on the roof for a few more hours. I couldn't sleep anyway. I keep thinking 'Just tell him. You know you want to. You love him. You just need to tell him. He feels the same about you. You know he does. Don't deny it. If you keep it built up inside you, it will come out at the wrong time, and you'll sound like a total idiot.' I teleported to my room, and put on some music, to try to get some sleep. I stared at the ceiling until I feel asleep, at about 4 in the morning. I had a dream, that we were in his room, and I hugged him, and whispered in his ear, "I Love you, too." Then I grabbed the back of his head, and KISSED him! I woke up, in a cold sweat, to see it was about 9:30. I hoped that dream, was just a dream, and not a vision.


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry I haven't updated sooner. I've been kinda busy, but chapter 5 turned into chapter 5 and 6. Oops ; Oh well. Enjoy!)

chapter 5

It was Sunday again. Like usual, I went downstairs to get some tea. I poured myself a glass, and sat down on the couch, watching Beast boy and Cyborg play mindless video games. I started to think about last night. The time me and Beast Boy shared together. It was nice. As I thought, evidently, I was smiling. Starfire taped me on the shoulder and said, "Raven. You are smiling. You are happy today. Would you like to partake in the art of shopping?" I put up my hood, hiding my smile, which was quickly disappearing. "No thanks. I have to much to do. Thanks anyway, Star."

As I finished my tea, I wanted to practice my guitar. I was really into it, now that I had an idea of how to play something. So, I got an idea. "Hey Cyborg, Can I use your computer?" "Sure Rea. What you going to be doing?" "Nothing' special. Just checking something." He knew my business was MY business, and didn't ask me to explain.

My idea was perfect. I went into Cyborg's room and booted up his computer. I looked around for guitar notes and positions for the fingers. I found a lot of sites, but I couldn't really understand them. I finally found a site with everything I needed. I even found guitar riffs to some songs I like. So, I printed them off, which was about 13 pages of stuff, and because I knew Cyborg was check his history sometime, I deleted the pages I had been on, and the cookies of them(AUGH! I'm talking computer again!). Then, I checked my email, and got off.

I teleported to my room. I turned on the radio, so no one would hear me play, then I took out my guitar, and practiced the basic notes. Although my fingers killed, I worked through the pain. I wasn't a quitter, and pain was nothing to me. After about an hour, I had mastered most of the note. So, I moved on to a song I printed off. It was "Mirror Mirror" by M2M. As I sang it to myself, The notes just fell right in with the words. I couldn't really hear the notes I played, so I shut of my radio. As I played, I sang a bit louder.

I must be stupid,

Must be crazy,

Must be out of my mind,

To say the kind of things,

I said last night,

Mirror,

Hanging' on the wall,

You don't have to tell me,

Who's the biggest fool of all,

Mirror,

I wish you could lie to me,

And bring my baby back,

Bring my baby back,

To me...

Just then, I heard a knock on my door. I stopped playing, as a candle blew up. I was nervous to who I might be. "Just a second." I said. I put way the guitar, and stashed the music under my bed. I opened the door, to see it was Beast Boy. "Hey, was that your radio? 'Cause I could hear it up in my room." "Yeah, It was the radio. I was listening to some music. I didn't think it was up that loud." "Well, it was good. You think I could borrow the CD?" "Um, it wasn't a CD, but..." I gave him a motion to come in my room. He did, and the door shut behind him.

"Can you keep a secret?" I asked him. He nodded. "Well, that wasn't the radio, nor was it a CD or a tape..." I cut my self off. "Never mind. It was the radio." He got a puzzled look on his face, "Wait a minute, Was that you?" I didn't answer, and looked at the floor. "I thought you didn't know how to play guitar! I only thought you the A cord." I pulled the music out from under my bed, "The internet is a wonderful thing." He was amazed, "Wow. You learn quick. Are you sure you need lessons?" "Well, Its easier when someone helps you to learn these things. It took me forever to try and translate those," I handed him the music I printed off. He scanned it quickly, and raised an eyebrow, "You can read this? Well...uh...good for you." He looked nervous. "Wait, you can't read it, can you?" "What! Of course I can." I grabbed the guitar out of the closet, "Then prove it."

I gave it to him, and picked a song for him to play. It was "Smells like teen spirit" By Nirvana. He sat on my bed, and managed to play the first couple notes. Then he couldn't play another damn note right. I grabbed his hand, to stop him from playing, "If you couldn't read it, you could have just told me." He looked at my hand on his and blushed slightly. I realized what I had done, let go of his hand, and put my hood up, to hide myself, as I was blushing.

After a minute or two, I broke the silence, "You know, I could teach you how to read them, in exchange for you teaching me how to play. Its a fair trade." "Really, that would be kewl(my way to spell 'cool'. it will probably be like that through most of the fic), but I don't think you need lessons anymore. Your almost as good as I am." I raised an eyebrow, "Almost?" "Ok, you probably better than me. Are you happy?" "Like you said, I learn fast. So, same time as my lessons were?" "Sure." He got up, gave my guitar, and walked out.

I put the guitar and music away, and fell backwards onto my bed. I didn't get much sleep last night, and I was completely out of it now. I looked at my alarm, and it read 12:34. I went down stairs, ate a sandwich, and went back to my room. I needed some sleep. I laid down on my bed, and fell asleep instantly.

I dreamed that I was at a small club, on a stage, playing guitar, but it wasn't a song I had heard before. I couldn't really make out the words, but I heard the tune. I was smiling, and enjoying myself. I played for a few more minutes, then I stopped, waved to the crowd, and stepped off stage with a smile on my face. I began to talk to someone, but I couldn't really see them, it was too dark. I couldn't hear them either. All I could hear was the sound of the audience clapping.

Although didn't want to, I woke up. I saw a shadow on the edge of my bed, but I couldn't make out who it was because it was so dark, but I could feel the persons hand on mine. My hand jerked slightly. Then, I heard a voice, "Raven, you awake?" the person said in a whisper. I still couldn't make out who it was. "Yeah. Who's there?" I said in a tired whisper. "It's me, Beast Boy. I was just wondering if you were hungry. Its almost 7:00, and we got pizza." Inside I smiled, but didn't show it. "Thanks, but I'm not really hungry."

His hand was still on mine. I blushed, and I think he did too, but we couldn't see one another. I was glad he woke me, not just because I needed to get up anyway, but because he cared. I didn't want him to let go of my hand, but he had to. As he did, I asked him, "Are we still on for lessons, tonight?" "Yeah, I'll meet you on the roof around 10:00. Want me to turn on your light before I leave?" "Sure." He turned on my light, waved, and left.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

As I sat up on my bed, stretching slightly, I thought about my dream. It wasn't weird, it just wasn't the way I'd act under pressure. I looked outside. The moon was out, but clouds were over it slightly. It was kewl. I changed into a black tank-top, and a pair of baggy pants I got at Hot Topic. I decided to go up to the roof and meditate. I teleported to the roof, with my guitar and music. I sat on the roof for a while. I listened to the sounds around me. I hadn't done that in a long time. I looked my watch. It was already 10:00. 'Did he forget?' I asked myself. As I got lost in my thoughts, It began to down pour. I gathered my things and teleported to the basement.

When I got there, I saw Beast Boy sitting in a chair. "Where have you been?" we said at the same time. He spoke first, "Didn't you watch the news? 95 of heavy rain around 10:00? I've been waiting here." I scowled at him, really pissed by now. I was drenched. "Your telling my the one time in your entire life you watch the news, I don't! Well, that's just great!" I set my stuff down to dry, and walked away from him. "I'm sorry I yelled at you, Beast Boy..."

I was so wet, he couldn't see the tear stream down my face. I felt his hand on my shoulder. "Its ok, Raven." I began to shiver. I felt him drape his jacket over my shoulders. "Here. You look cold. Have my jacket." He smiled and blushed a deep crimson, as did I (Now good "Awwww!" lol) I walked up to my papers and fanned them out. The ink was smudged and they were impossible to read. "Damn it! Just great!" I paced around, wondering what to do. I couldn't go on Cyborgs computer now. He was probably recharging by now. I sat on the floor, and leaned against a wall. I let out a short sigh. I closed my eyes, and relaxed.

I could hear him sit next to me. I opened one eye and looked at him. "Now what do we do? My papers a destroyed, and I already know everything you do." He leaned his head against the wall, "I don't know. We could talk." "About what? We have nothing in common." That was a lie, and I knew it. The thing we shared was a passion for one another, but I stayed quiet.

After a few minutes, he stood up. "I have an idea." "If it has anything to do with gerbils, hamsters, sharks, air planes, or mimes, no." "No. I have a GOOD idea." He took my hand, pulled me up off the floor, and put a blind fold on me. "What's the big idea?" "Just trust me, ok?" I sighed, but went along with it. "Fine." He led me outside. I could smell the 'after a rain shower' smell. After a minute or two, I felt him grab my hand again. He put my hand on his shoulder. "Hold on tight." I could fell him morph into a hawk. I held on as I felt us lift off the ground.

We flew for a few minutes. I was a little scared, but it was sort of fun. I could feel us land. He morph back to human form, and took off the blindfold. We were standing outside a small place with a neon sign that said, 'The Unseen'. I had never heard of it before, but I didn't really care. I saw my guitar strapped to his back. "Why did you bring my guitar?" He didn't answer me. He walked up to the door and opened it, "Come on!" I followed him. He had my guitar, I had no choice.

I looked around inside, and realized, 'I know this place,' I thought, 'but from where. I've never been here before.' In the far corner, I saw a sign that read, 'TALENT NIGHT. AGES 15 TO 17.' I looked at Beast Boy, and he nodded. He signed me up! "You didn't!" "I did." I reached my hands out and almost griped his neck, but I held myself back. I growled under my breath. "I can't so this. I'm leaving." I began to walk away, and he grabbed my wrist, pulling me back, "Oh no you don't!"

I began to feel nervous. "Beast Boy, I can't do this. I really can't." "Yes, you can. You have a great talent. And you have more courage than anyone I know. I know you can do this." I pulled him into a tight hug, "Thank you, Beast Boy." I pulled back and friendly hit him in the shoulder, "But I'm still going to kill you for signing me up!" "I know." He looked at the clock, "Your up next." I panicked. "Oh my god! What am I going to play? Where's my guitar? Is my hair staticy-" He put his finger on my lips and chuckled lightly, "Your going to be fine. Just go with the flow. Relax, and remember to breath."

I took a deep breath. I thought 'What am I going to play? The only thing I know is Mirror, and I still need the sheet music for it.' I stood next to the stage, with my guitar, waiting for the person before me to get done(I know I didn't word that right, but give me a break. I'm sick.). I looked out at the audience, and then I knew. This was the same place I saw in my dream! I guess it wasn't just a dream. It was a vision. Then it hit me, 'If that dream was a vision, was the other one?' I didn't let it bother me. I remembered the tune I heard in my dream, and played it softly, so I would know it when I went on stage. But what about the words?

I heard my name called. 'I guess I'm up,' I thought. I went up on stage, and sat on the little stool thing on the stage. I couldn't see much. There was a blinding light on the stage. I didn't say anything. I just pulled out my guitar, and sang what came to mind. (I think the song is called "Rain". It's from the movie "Pixel Perfect"(which I don't own either)Its a nice ballad. AKA a slow song.)

I don't understand  
This should be so easy  
To just reach my hand  
And know the world is free  
But nothing's, as it seems  
I can tell you freely  
Touching's not the only way to feel

When the rain falls  
It's like heaven's crying  
When the name's all  
The difference that there is  
Cause tears are  
The same when they are trying to grow something good  
Out of all the pain  
There's no difference between the teardrops and the rain.

I said thank you, and left the stage. Just like in my vision, I was talking to someone, and I couldn't heard, nor see them, but now, I knew it was Beast Boy. We ended up walking outside, so we could hear each other. I leaned agents a wall, and he showed off, as usual. "Beast Boy, that was so fun, and yet," I got an evil grin on my face, "YOUR DEAD!" I pounced on him. I pinned him to the ground, and he tried to get out of the pin, and he did. He ended up rolling over on top of me, and pinning my to the ground. I just sat there and laughed. He laughed too.

He finally let me out of the pin, and helped me up. "I haven't had this much fun in who knows how long," I said, still laughing a bit. "Yea, me neither." Just then, some dude, tripping all over himself, walked up next to me. I could smell the alcohol on him breath. "Hey you," he said in a slurred manner, "Your like, really hot, man. Why you hangin' out with this little dude, when you can be with me?." I plugged my nose, "Its called a breath mint. Heard of it?" "Ooh, a funny girl, huh? I like girls with a since of humor." He got really close to my face, "What you say, pretty lady? Want to come with me? It'll be fun." "No way. I'd rather have my leg bitten off by a dog, and you know, a tic-tac wouldn't hurt either."

He grabbed my arm and squeezed, "Hey! Your hurting me!" "Come on, come with me or I'll make you." Beast Boy walked up behind him, "Let her go." He let me go, and I stepped back. "I see your boyfriend's sticking up for you. What are you going to do little man?" I could see Beast Boy's hand getting tense, and turning into a fist. The guy pushed him, and he fell to the ground, and I guess I finally snapped. I levitated and lifted a large bolder with me. I flew toward the drunk bastard as fast as I could. "Leave him alone!" "Stay out of this, bitch." Right before the bolder hit him, he hit me so hard that I flew back and hit a wall. I hit so hard, that I passed out.

I'm not sure how long I was out, but I woke up back at the tower. I was in my room, and it was 5 in the morning. I sat up quickly, remembering what happened the night before. Just then, I got a sharp pain in my back. It hurt so bad, I started to cry softly. "Lay back down. You need your rest." I looked to my right, to see Beast Boy. His shirt was torn in a couple places and he was bleeding. "What happened to you?" I asked. The pain in my back was growing. "Don't worry about me. Lay back down."

I did as he asked. As I laid back down, my back hurt so bad that I couldn't help but cry. He held my hand to give me comfort. "It's going to be alright, Rae," he said with a smile. "You just need to stay off your feet for a few days." "Since when did you become a doctor? I'm fine." "Really? Then sit up." I just laid there and stared at the ceiling. I looked at the cuts he had. "You really need to take care of those or their going to get infected." I put my hand on one of them, and my hand started to glow.

As I healed his cuts, he just sat there and smiled. The more I healed him, the more of his pain I got. Not just physical pain, but emotional pain. I felt his heartbreak, his pain, his loss. I felt everything he felt. After he was healed, I didn't dare look a him. I didn't want him to know I knew the way he felt. The heartbreak of loosing Terra. The pain of seeing me hurt. The way that everyday he felt like he was a drone of the government waiting for the day he died with a passion. He didn't want to live anymore. He had lost to much, and just wanted to die.

After a few minutes of silence, it was finally broken. "So," He said quietly, "Did you have fun tonight?" he smiled at me as i glared at him. "You know your a dumb ass, right?" I said. "You could have gotten yourself killed. That guy was 3 times your weight, height, and intoxication. He could have kicked your ass so hard that you wouldn't be able to sit for a year." He looked at the floor with a blank look on his face. The last thing he needed was another lecture.

I sighed and grabbed his hand. "Look, I did have a good time. I just don't want you doing something stupid like that again." Then i started to think out loud, "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you-" I realized what I said and blushed a dark crimson. He blushed as well and gave my hand a light squeeze. He smiled at me and said, "You should get some sleep." I nodded and acted like I drifted right off to sleep, but I didn't. I laid there, away for a while. After I laid there a couple of hours, I felt his lips on my cheek and heard him whisper, "Good night my dark beauty. I love you, and I wish I could tell you that." I felt him let go of my hand, and heard my door close behind him as he left. Shortly after that, I feel asleep.

(I'll up date as soon as I can. I've hit a writers block. Thats why i ended this chapter the same as the last one. Please Read and review. Hope you liked it )


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

I woke up at about 7 that morning with a poundiong headache, and the banging on my door didn't help at all. "What do you want!" I yelled, not happy at all. Starfire came flying in my door faster then Robin on the R-Cycle. "Raven!" She yelled, not even 2 feet away from my face, "Raven! Terra is back!"

"What!" A window shattered. "Is everyone okay?" Someone said from behind Starire. As Star looked behind her, I knew who it was. "What the hell are you doing in my room, Terra?" I said, in a pissy mood. "I heard a crash and wanted to know if you were..." "We're fine. Now get out of my room, Terra."

Terra turned around and walked out the door, and it shut behind her. "Raven, are you not happy that our friend is-" "Friend! She's not our friend Starfire! She's a backstabing little bitch! How do you know she's still not working for Slade! How can we trust her again!" Starfire gave a saddened look and flew toward my door. "She was my friend, Raven, and still is." She flew out the door and it shut behind her.

"Oh god...my head...," I said. All that yelling didn't really help my headache to much. As I tryed walking to the bathroom down the hall, I had to lean aginst the wall to stay standing. Beast boy spotted me half way there. "Hey Rea. How you feeling?" "Like shit. Can you help me to the bathroom, please? I have to take something for my head." "Sure." He put my arm around his neck and led me to the bathroom. "Thanks, Beast boy." "No probluem, Rea." As I reached for the Asprin, my knees just gave out and I feel to the floor. "Let me get that for you." Beast boy reached up and got me the Asprin. "Want me to bring you back to your room?" "Please." He picked me up, bridel style and headed to my room.

On the way there, I wraped my arms around his neck, so he would have a better grip on me, but he blushed and almost dropped me. Once we got about half way there, I heard a voice I never wanted to hear again. "Beast Boy!" It was Terra. He dropped me like a sack of potatos and ran up to her, giving her a hug. As I layed there on the floor, the two of them took off somewhere, leaveing me on the floor,not being able to stand, let alone walk.

"Raven, are you okay?" Robin said as he walked up to me, going to his room. I gave him a "what does it look like" look and said, "Oh yea, Robin. I'm fine. I just can't walk and Beast boy just dropped me to run off with his girlfriend, but other then that, yea I'm just fine and dandy." He gave a slight chuckle and kneeled down next to me. "I bet he's glad Terra's back, huh?" "No shit, sherlock..."

"Do you want me to bring you to your room? I'm heading to mine anyway. Its just right across the hall." he asked. "Yea sure...Wait. Your not gonna drop me if Star comes running by are you?" He laughed and picked me up bridel sytle, "No, me and Stare are just friends." As he brought me to my room, we started talking..well, HE started talking and while he was talking, I read his mind.

Robin's thoughts: 'Why can't I tell her? She's right here, So just tell her already! You know you want to. But I can't, what if she doesn't like me back? What girl wouldn't like you? True...Very true...'

Once we got to my room, he opened the door, set me on my bed and covered me up. "You better stay in bed for a while. You can't fight in this shape. You can't even teleport." "But Robin, I'm-" "No buts, Raven. Your staying in bed until you're better, understood?" I gave a sigh. There was no arguing with him. "Yes sir, dad, sir," I said jokingly.

He smiled and before he walked out the door, he said, "I'll be back in a little while to check on you. Want me to bring you some tea?" "Please. That would be so nice." He smiled, "Okay. I'll be back, but you get some rest, okay?" I nodded and he walked out the door.

I thought about his thoughts after he left. "What if she doesn't like me back? Who is she?" I stopped thinking about it and layed down trying to sleep, but it was no use. So, I just layed there and acted like I was sleeping. A couple of hours later, I heard a knock on my door, but ignored it. "Raven," he said, "Its Robin. Can I came in?" He knocked a few more times before coming in. I was "sleeping" and he set a pot of tea and a cup next to my bed. He sat down on the edge of my bed and gently pet my hair. I read his mind again.

Robin's thoughts: 'She's so cute when she's sleeping. I wish I could tell you how I feel, Raven. But I can't..'

He leaned down and kissed me on the cheeck and my heart began to race. Then he wispered in my ear, "Good night my dark beauty.." After he walked out the door, I shot up in bed and and thought to myself, 'Holy shit! Robin's in love with me! Holy shit!...Wait,' I got an evil grin on my face, 'Thats it...I know how it get Beast boy back from that evil bitch...The only thing better then telling a guy how you feel, is making him jealous, so he tells you how HE feels...perfect..' After planing my fool proof plan, I layed down and feel asleep with an evil smile on my face.

(HAHA! I have finally updated! Are you happy? I hope so. It only took me an hour to write it. Well, I hope you like it. And yes, Ihat Terra, and thats why Raven hates her. Well, I'll up date when I can...Laterz ...)


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Later that day, I woke up to the sound of my door opening. I opened my eyes a little bit to see who it was. It was just Beast Boy. "Ever heard of knocking?" I said. "I just came to see how you were doing." He said quietly. Then there was an awkward silence. "Look.." he said. "I'm sorry about earlier...It's just-" I cut him off. "You couldn't wait to see your prescious girlfriend. I know...You missed her. I don't blame you..." He sat down on the edge of my bed. "Why do you hate Terra so much?" he asked. "She's a back staber...I can't believe I even thought we were friends..." I said. I would have said more, but I'd keep going on, and on, and on.

"She's not like that anymore. She's changed, Raven. Why can't you just give her a chance?" he said. "Why, you ask? She betrayed us, joined up with Slade, broke your heart, and tried to kill us! How can YOU give her a chance!" I said angerly. He then stood up and yelled, "Because she risked her life to save mine! I owe her at least another chance!" "Fine, Beast Boy! Do what you want! But when she breaks our heart this time, don't come crying to me!" I then tured over, my back facing him. He walked over to my door, and before he left, he yelled to me, "To think I was even friends with you!" Then the door slamed behind him.

I layed there silently and thought about what just happened. "What to hell have I done?" I asked myself. I could feel a tear run down my cheek. 'I lost him and I'm never gonna get him back..' I thought to myself. I then heard a knock on my door. I wiped my tear, sat up, and said, "If its Beast Boy, go away." "It's Robin. Can I come in?" "Sure," I said quietly. He came in and sat on the edge of the bed. "I hear you two yelling. Is everything alright?" he asked. I huged my knees to my chest and rested my head on them. "Yeah," I said quietly. "We just got into another argument." "Wanna talk about it?" "Not really." Then it was quiet. "So," he finally said. "How are you feeling?" I smiled, knowing that he cared. "I'm feeling better. My head finally stopped throbing, and if I tryed to, I think I could stand on my own." I scooted to the edge of my bed and stood up. "Told you," I said, right before my legs became weak and I fell. He caught me and smiled. "Guess you spoke too soon, huh?" I smiled, "I never said how long I would stand, I just said I could stand." We laughed a bit and he helped me back into bed. "Well, I'm glad to know you're feeling better," he said witha smile. "Thanks," I said. "Um...You think, maybe sometime, after your feeling better...We might be able to hang ot or something, sometime?" he said nervously, biting his lip. I smiled a bit and said, "Sure. That would be fun." He smiled. "Cool...Well, I'm gonna let you get some sleep." "Okay," I said. "Later." He waved and left my room. I got an evil smile and thought, 'Phase one, complete...'

(I know its shorter the the other chapters, but I have sort of a writers block and thats all I could come up with. laterz all. i'll update when my writers block is gone. ) 


	9. Chapter 9

(I know I haven't updated, like, any of my storys in a month or two, but I've been really busy lately. I'M SORRY! I've had a lot going on lately, but I have an hour or two to kill before band practice, so I'll write another chapter.)

Chapter 9

It had been a couple of weeks since Beast Boy and I had fought. It didn't seem to bother him, but it was tearing me apart, little by little everyday. I still really liked Beast Boy, but with Terra in the picture, I'd never be able to tell him. Plus, I was kind of…maybe…dating Robin to get back at him. I know It was wrong, but I had to make him jealous. No way I would be able to let him know unless I made him jealous, and he told me first. Things weren't exactly the way I wanted them to be…

Robin had talked me into going on a double date with Beast Boy and the bit- I mean Terra. The guys had talked it over, and they decided to go to hit a movie, then go to the arcade for a while. We decided to see Corpse Bride (which I don't own.….even though I wish I did). It was a good movie. Of course, I didn't really pay attention to the movie. Robin and I were talking through the first half of the movie. We would be talking through the whole movie, but when he leaned in to kiss me, I looked away from him, he it felt awkward. Beast Boy and Terra missed all the movie. They were sucking face the whole time….I wanted to throw up. After the movie, we went to the arcade.

The first game the Beast Boy ran to was DDR (dance dance revolution). "Come on, Terra. You know playing by myself is no fun. Play the game with me. I promise I'll take it easy on you, "Beast Boy pleaded Terra. "You know I'm not good at that game," she replied. "Why not ask Raven to play?" He gave me an evil stare, as I did him, and he said, "No way! She wouldn't even play if I paid her to. Plus, it wouldn't be much of a challenge, anyway." "Oh really?" I asked him. "What are you saying? Are you saying that I can't play this game?" "Well, if the cloak fits," he muttered. I got one of those evil, "this is gonna be fun" grins. "Well," I said. "That sounds like a challenge." I stood up on the game, put in a dollar and said, "Okay. Best 2 out of 3. Winner take all. I win, you leave me alone for a month. You win, I'll rebuild you're moped and add a NOS kit. Deal?" He put in a dollar. "You're on!"

Well, guess who won?… Well, of course I did. "Well, that wasn't much of a challenge," I said with a smirk, trying to make Beast Boy mad. "Yeah, well next time, you won't be so lucky." "Sure," I said sarcastically. "I'm going to look for Terra." "Like I care." I took a walk around the arcade, looking for Robin. I searched everywhere but the guy's bathroom, and no way was I going in there. "Where the hell can he be?" I asked myself. Then my stomach started to growl. "Screw it. I'm getting something to eat." I walked out of the arcade, on my way to the food court, and what I saw almost made me drop to my knees…

Terra, not just kissing, but making out, with Robin. I snapped. The only thing I could feel at the time was rage. It was like I couldn't control myself. I flew at her and tore Robin off of her. "I knew you were nothing but a back-stabbing little bitch. I knew you'd do this to Beast Boy, but he loved you enough not to believe me," I yelled at Terra. Robin then broke in. "Raven, I-" "Stay out of it!" I said before I flung him across the food court, making him hit a wall. I then turned back to Terra and screamed, "You broke his heart, and not I'm gonna brake your face, you fuckin' BITCH!" Then I hit her. I didn't give her a girly slap, I slugged her. I was on a war path and no one could stop me. She fell to the floor, and I just kept hitting her until Beast Boy finally tore me off of her.

"What is your problem, Raven! Are you trying to kill her!" Beast Boy asked. "My problem is your slutty girlfriend!" "What do you mean? I know you hate Terra, but that doesn't mean you have to call her a slut and beat the shit out of her!" I was about to tell him what happened, but I didn't want to tell him the truth. It would brake his heart, and I hated seeing him in pain like that. I just teleported back to the tower. I walked into the kitchen as Cyborg had just finished another 12-inch sub. "You're back early," he said. "Where are the others?" "I don't know, and I don't give a shit. I hate them all. 2 of them are liars, and one is too stupid to tell the difference." I said, as I poured myself a cup of tea, and sat on the couch. He walked up behind me and said, "You know, I watched the secretly cameras at the mall. I know what happened. Beast Boy should know what happened." I looked up him. "You know I can't do that. It would brake his heart, and-" "You couldn't do that because you still love him. Am I right?" I gave him a questioning look. "Why do you think I know what happened at the mall? Since you and Beast Boy started spending time together a couple months back, I've been keeping an eye on you." I gave him a scowl. I raised my hand to hit him, but then put it down and sighed. "Thanks. At least someone is. I do still love him, but I can't tell him. He'd never leave Terra for me. I'm nothing to him but an annoyance." "Not true." Cyborg said, then sat next to me. "You think you're the only one I keep an eye on? He's like my little bro. I keep an eye on him too. He still really likes you Rea. I hear him crying at night. It's pretty pathetic… He wants to be with you…" I sighed and stood up. "I'm going for a walk to think things over, when they get back, can you-" "I'll talk to Beast Boy for you. Don't worry about it." "Thanks Cy." I then teleported outside and flew around town to sort things out…

(So, how is it? I don't think it's too good, but it's not me it's supposed to entertain. Review and tell me what you think. If you like it, tell me. If you don't, tell me anyway. I wanna know if I need to improve. K? Laterz all! )


	10. Chapter 10

(This is my last chapter. It's not like, "What! She's not gonna finish the story! This sucks!" I Am going to finish the story in this chapter and I'll even give you guys an awesome song in it. I'm not telling you how it's in there, but you'll find out when you read it. It's called "Waiting (save your life)" by Omnisoul (and no, I don't own it, even though I wish I did). If you haven't heard the song before, you can listen to it, and see a kewl BB & Rea video. The site will be on my profile. I don't know who made it, but MAJOR props to them. It's an awesome video! Well, enjoy the final chapter of "If only he knew")

Chapter 10

On my walk, I started to think about stuff. I thought about Beast Boy…home…mom…and then I began to think about something I've wanted to do for a while…ever since I began getting feelings for Beast boy…Running away. Going somewhere other then Titans tower, or even Azarath. I wanted to go where no one knew me. Change my name, dye my hair, wear...gulp… make up if I have to…I just want to start all over. I then decided if I were going to go out with my plan, tonight would be the time to do it…

I teleported to my room back at titans tower. I got out a bag and started to pack some books and clothes when I saw something shiny on the floor. It was over by the door. I picked it up, and it was a homemade, burned CD. On the front it said, "Jump city recording studio". I popped it in to the CD player and pressed play. The first voice I heard was Beast Boy's. "Hey Raven. Happy Valentines Day. I heard this song the other day on the radio, and I wanted to play it for you. It kind of explains our friendship over the past couple of years. Well, here it goes." He began to play an electric guitar and started to sing. (here's the song I was talking about)

Haven't you had enough of my brain  
It's on the table I've got no more to say  
If I bore you get out of my way  
This one's for you  
So cut me a break cause I can't wait  
I'm the same I was when we first met  
And now I feel you're pulling away  
So just give me the word  
And I'll leave today

But if you want me to I'll be the one for you  
Maybe I can save your life  
At times you've hated me, ain't that how love should be  
So just let me save your life

There's a line formed you can't see  
I've been waiting you give nothing for free  
But there's a yearning it's deep and calm  
And time has burnt me

So cut me a break cause I can't wait  
I'm the same I was when we first met  
And now I feel you're pulling away  
So just give me the word  
And I'll leave today  
Yes I'll leave today

But if you want me to I'll be the one for you  
Maybe I can save your life  
At times you've hated me, ain't that how love should be  
So just let me save your life

Don't you know me  
I'm helpless without you  
I watched you sleep so I could dream of you

If you want me to I'll be the one for you  
Maybe I…  
At times you've hated me, ain't that how love should be  
So just let me save your life

When the song was finished, he had another message on it. "Well Rea, Now you know how I feel. Happy valentines day."

I sat down on my bed and smiled. That did explain us…a lot. Then I though, 'Wait…if that was recorded on Valentines day, how did it get into my room now?' As I walked back over to the door, and as I opened it, Cyborg was just about to knock. "Hey Raven. I wasn't sure if you were back yet or not. I talked to Beast Boy." "And?" "He watched the video. He didn't say anything after that. He went to his room, then I heard yelling, screaming, crashing, more yelling, cursing, and more yelling. Since then he's been pretty quiet. I think he went somewhere, though. After all the noise stopped, I went to go check on him and he wasn't in his room." I'll talk to him later Cy. Thanks." "No prob, Rea." I shut the door and looked at the clock on my nightstand. It was almost 10:00pm. I then looked in my closet, and my guitar was missing. I smiled to myself. I knew where he went.

I walked up to the roof. "I see old habits die hard," Beast Boy said from the other side of the roof. "I see you still don't know how to stay out of my room," I said, gesturing to my guitar in his hands. He chuckled a bit, but then it was silent. I walked over to the other side of the roof and sat next to him. "I got that CD you slipped under my door…Thanks…" I said, kind of quietly. "Yeah…I recorded it a couple of days before Valentines day. I was gonna give it to you then, but you kind of took off." "Yeah…sorry about that." I said. Then there was another silence. I was looking at the stars and he was strumming random cords on the guitar.

He stopped. "I talked to Cyborg…And Terra…And Robin…" he said. "The talk I had with Terra was more yelling and screaming, and the talk I had with Robin wasn't really a verbal talk. I know what happened at the mall, Rea…I don't blame you for what you did…" he reached in his pocket for something. He handed me a little black box. "Here," He said. "I want you to have this." I opened the box and looked inside. It was the same silver bracelet I found in his room on Valentines day, but it was different. Instead of just the little "R" on it, he added a guitar pick. On the guitar pick, it said, "I love you, Raven". I smiled. "Th…Thanks, Beast Boy. I really like it," I said. I took it out of the box, and he helped me put it on. "Raven," he said quietly. I looked at him. Just as he was about to say something, I put my finger on his mouth, "I love you, too," I said. I then softly kissed his cheek. He smiled and blushed, as did I. "Well, I guess the song was right," I said. "You did save my life in the end…" We both smiled and sat on the roof and watched the stars together for hours, talking, laughing, and playing guitar.

Well, now it's 4 years later, and BB and I are still together. Were going out to dinner tonight, and he wants to ask me something…

(Well, did you like it? I hope you did. Tell me if you did, and tell my if you didn't, I want to know. If I get enough good reviews (and some spare time between drum corps, jazz band, pep band, school, drama, chores, and babysitting my niece), I might write a sequel. I really hope you like it. IT TOOK ME ALMOST A YEAR JUST TO FINISH THE DAMN THING! Lol. Well, hope you like it. Leave me a review, or email me. I love hearing you guys, and girls, input. Bye all, hope I see you again soon! )


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